Constant struggles with food can take a toll on mental health, physical health and even social connections.

But building a more positive relationship with food is possible, as Skylar Weir, a clinical dietitian at UCHealth Yampa Valley Medical Center, outlines below.

Language matters when it comes to a good relationship with food

Instead of labelling foods as either “good” or “bad,” Weir encourages people to approach food more neutrally.

“We want to use language that’s not so harsh and not so morally driven,” Weir said.

For instance, if a tough day at work results in a dinner of chips and ice cream, it can be easy to spiral into judgment and frustration. Instead, Weir recommends showing kindness and understanding through self-talk such as, “Maybe I didn’t make the most nutrient optimal choice, but I was really busy.”

Weir also encourages patients to eliminate labels of “good” or “bad” for entire food groups.

“Many people think carbs are bad, veggies are good, proteins are safe, and fats are scary,” Weir said. Instead, she encourages them to see carbs as energizers, vegetables as support, proteins as builders and fats as protectors.

When food is just food, it becomes less enamoring and enticing.

“Switching our perception that foods are either good or bad, and instead viewing them as neutral, allows us to more intuitively choose foods based on how they make us feel,” Weir said.

Nutritional food choices

Instead of cutting and restricting foods in a patient’s diet, Weir makes suggestions on how to add nutrients.

“I always work on the principle of nutrition by addition,” Weir said. “If your breakfast is oatmeal with brown sugar, we look at how we can make that a more balanced meal by adding a little more fiber, antioxidants, healthy fats and protein.”

People interested in weight loss or weight management are often surprised that by boosting the quality, nutrition and enjoyment of their meals, they may find more success than with restrictive diets.

Practice mindful eating

Weir encourages people to pay attention to the foods they’re eating, noticing whether each food is satisfying, satiating and enjoyable.

“We want to get in touch with what our food preferences are versus our food rules,” Weir said. “Do we like to eat salad at lunch because we enjoy the crunchy, fresh texture of salad and feel good when we eat it, or are we eating it because we’ve told ourselves we have to eat salad at every lunch in order to lose weight?”

Having permission to eat what you want can ultimately lead to eating foods that are both satisfying and nourishing for your body.

The 80/20 principle

“The more we think of nutrition as a consistent practice versus something we need to be perfect at all the time, the more it becomes approachable and accessible,” Weir said.

That’s where the 80/20 principle comes in: Weir encourages patients to focus on getting fruits, vegetables, fiber, protein and healthy fats 80% of the time.

“We have that other 20% of the time to enjoy and be present with the foods we love,” Weir said.

Bountiful benefits come when you have a healthier relationship with food

Eating in a more intuitive way can lead to a range of benefits.

“Usually I get feedback like, ‘Wow, I feel like I have more energy, my mood is improved, and I feel more connected to my community and am more present,’” Weir said. “Some clients have even said they’ve lost weight without feeling restricted.”

And it can be fun.

“Joy is a nutrient, too,” Weir said. “Food is a big part of being human, and we want to remind ourselves it’s okay to feel a sense of joy from food.”

Having a healthy relationship with food

Conflicting messages about food, new diets every week, and never-ending marketing leave many people floundering.

That strained relationship with eating can have far-reaching consequences.

“When our relationship with food is negative or a little bit off, we’re putting ourselves at risk for nutrient deficiencies and even chronic issues, such as poor bone density,” Weir said. “We may not experience as much joy, we may have some anxiety, or we may not feel as present in certain situations.”

Feel guilty? Food stress is common.

If you find you have a strained relationship with eating, you’re not alone.

“I would say it’s more common than not,” Weir said. “I hear a lot of, ‘I’m doing this, but I know I should be doing that,’ or ‘I’m doing this, but I know it’s really bad.’”

Feelings of inadequacy and even shame around eating habits often stem from conflicting messaging on food, whether it’s a soundbite on social media or an article from a news outlet.

“In reality, a lot of that is diet culture messaging, and it’s not geared to the individual and what the individual needs,” Weir said.

Diet culture messaging contributes to an unhealthy relationship with food

Weir points out that we’re bombarded with messages about food, many of which are divisive and may end up contributing to unhealthy behaviors.

“Oftentimes I hear my patients refer to something like bread as a ‘bad food,’ and people go to great lengths to avoid bread and limit carbs because of something they heard on social media,” Weir said. “In reality, carbs are your body’s preferred source of energy.”

People who have a goal of losing weight or improving how they feel in their body often expect Weir to suggest they start a restrictive diet, such as one that eliminates carbohydrates. While people may experience results with those diets over the short-term, they’re usually not sustainable.

“Eating one single food type or group isn’t going to make you gain weight,” Weir said.

In fact, the various food groups have a range of purposes.

“Healthy fats allow your hormones to thrive and your immune system to fight off infection, protein allows your body to rebuild muscles that you’ve worked out, and carbs are providing energy you need to keep your metabolism going,” Weir said.

When patients examine their relationship with food and question some of the tenets that drive how they eat, they may experience improvements in health and decreased stress.

“The more we talk about this aspect of nutrition, the more people can feel not so alone,” Weir said.