{"id":84846,"date":"2026-05-12T10:18:59","date_gmt":"2026-05-12T16:18:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.uchealth.org\/today\/?p=84846"},"modified":"2026-05-12T11:19:27","modified_gmt":"2026-05-12T17:19:27","slug":"empty-nester-parents-can-expect-a-range-of-emotions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.uchealth.org\/today\/empty-nester-parents-can-expect-a-range-of-emotions\/","title":{"rendered":"Facing an empty nest? Expect a range of emotions, and seek help if you need it."},"content":{"rendered":"
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When adult children leave home, it’s normal for empty nesters to experience a range of emotions, from pride to grief. Learn how to navigate this time of transition and seek help if you need it. Photo: Getty Images.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Parents who are becoming empty nesters as adult children leave home may experience an identity crisis or feel a surge of emotions.<\/p>\n

You might suddenly be asking yourself who you are, what your new purpose in life is and if anyone will need you in the next phase of your life.<\/p>\n

Just like adult children who are leaving home for college, a job, military service or new adventures, empty nesters can face profound shifts too.<\/p>\n

Behavioral health experts advise parents and caregivers not to downplay this time of transition.<\/p>\n

Bidding farewell to a young adult who is leaving home may be as significant or life-altering an event as retirement, divorce, a serious health issue or the death of a loved one, said John Poynton, a\u00a0UCHealth behavioral health provider, <\/a>who leads men\u2019s virtual support groups where participants discuss becoming empty nesters, among other topics.<\/p>\n

Poynton said it\u2019s vital not to downplay the emotions.<\/p>\n

Many empty-nest parents experience both grief and nostalgia.<\/p>\n

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John Poynton, a UCHealth behavioral health provider. Photo courtesy of John Poynton.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Parents should acknowledge those feelings, but can also use the transition as a springboard for growth and discovery.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is an opportunity to begin to reexamine our lives, reevaluate. What have I been doing? Where am I at now? Who am I moving forward with this great change?\u201d Poynton said.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

An empty nest causes a complex emotional response<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\u201cEmpty nest syndrome,\u201d a term popularized in the 1970s, refers to the responses parents may experience when their child moves out of the home. It is a universal experience that comes with many complexities.<\/p>\n

\u201cChanges like this that come at this phase in life can be a significant existential crisis for us, a crisis in meaning,\u201d Poynton said.<\/p>\n

Empty nest syndrome is not a clinical diagnosis. However, that does not mean its emotional impact is not profound for parents. And while it is commonly associated with sending a child off to school<\/a>, empty nest syndrome can happen in a variety of circumstances.<\/p>\n

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Virtual Group Therapy<\/strong><\/h4>\n

If you are struggling with the empty-nest transition, talk to your doctor or primary care provider.<\/p>\n

UCHealth offers virtual support groups for women ages 50 and older and for men ages 35-49 and 50 and older.<\/p>\n

The women\u2019s group offers participants opportunities to \u201cexplore the emotional impact of changes at home and work, shifting identities and purpose, caregiving, empty nesting, health challenges, menopause and the natural reflections that come with this stage of life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Participants can join groups on their own or be referred by their doctor. Most health insurance plans cover group visits.<\/p>\n

For more information, email virtualoutpatientbh@uchealth.org<\/a> or call 720-520-9048.<\/div><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c(Parents) are left with space they don\u2019t necessarily know what to do with,\u201d said Lara Polce, a UCHealth behavioral health therapist, who leads a virtual women\u2019s support group.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s really a mixed bag of reactions and responses when empty nesting occurs,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

One mother might think, \u201cThis is great! I have time to focus on me. I don\u2019t have to worry about what I\u2019m feeding my children every night. I can have cereal and an apple,\u201d Polce said.<\/p>\n

Another mother might feel the opposite: \u201cI don\u2019t know what to do with myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not unusual for parents to feel both at different times.<\/p>\n

A loss of identity and role confusion are hallmarks of an empty nest<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Becoming an empty nester is not a one-size-fits-all experience, Polce said.<\/p>\n

For many parents, role confusion and loss of identity are hallmarks.<\/p>\n

Role confusion arises when parents must navigate sometimes tricky situations as they realize their children are now adults. Most parents look for ways to step back and treat their adult children differently. Some children no longer live at home, may live in another state and may not want any input from a parent. Other children, however, remain in constant contact, thanks to today\u2019s technologies.<\/p>\n

A loss of identity is also a major marker during this transition.<\/p>\n

For some parents, being \u201cmom\u201d or \u201cdad\u201d was their primary identity. When a child leaves home, parents may struggle to find new ways to parent, or they may deeply miss having a child at home.<\/p>\n

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Lara Polce, UCHealth behavioral health therapist. Photo courtesy of Lara Polce.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

And some parents confront an empty nest long before a child reaches adulthood. Divorce in a family can mean that children split their time between parents, for example.<\/p>\n

There is no typical empty-nester experience<\/strong><\/h2>\n

For others, an empty nest isn\u2019t always\u2026empty. Some children remain at home for college to save money, help an aging parent or start their journey online or at a nearby community college. For those parents, the new roles can be challenging. What about curfews, chores and other household routines for a child who is now an adult?<\/p>\n

For parents whose child went off to college, the experience can vary depending on whether the college is nearby or out of state. Some kids come home not long after they move out \u2013 laundry, anyone? Others won\u2019t be home again until the year-end holiday break.<\/p>\n

Single parents and step-parents may have varying experiences, too. A parent’s experience with an older child may differ when the last child leaves. Single parents who help their only child move out may feel the sting of an empty house even more acutely.<\/p>\n

Some parents do not like change and know they will struggle when their child leaves for college. Others do not expect to struggle but then are dismayed when, a month after their child leaves, they are distraught. Many parents experience elation, sadness, excitement and<\/em> dread.<\/p>\n

Polce said that acknowledging this transition and seeking help if needed are important.<\/p>\n

\u201cAcknowledging that you know it can be difficult sometimes, that it is uncomfortable,\u201d she said. \u201cIt’s change, and change can be hard for people.\u201d<\/p>\n

Consider these tips for dealing with an empty nest<\/strong><\/h2>\n